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If you can laugh first at yourself, then you can laugh with others as they laugh at you and everyone has a great time.
Amy’s low self-esteem prompted her to look for double meaning in every comment Charles made to her. He once made a joke about her abysmal map reading. She went all sulky, jumped at him and said ‘are you trying to put me down. You think I’m useless don’t you… etc ’. Charles told me that he wasn’t criticising just laughing at something in a friendly way. He also said he felt he had to censor his usually cynical humour because Amy just didn’t seem able to laugh at herself. Amy was crap at map reading and if she’d learned to love herself more, she’d have had no problem seeing the funny side.
A secure woman knows her limitations and knows where she excels and where she doesn’t. Her confidence allows her to laugh and make fun of the things she isn’t quite so good at.
Celebrate what you do best and laugh at the rest
When a boyfriend once complained about my total failure to map read [this is a complaint common to women it appears and has something to do with the way our brains are wired!].. I laughed and said ‘you know I’m crap at this so I shouldn’t be doing it. Perhaps we’d better find something for me to do that I’m good at, like giving you a blow job!’ Laughter was followed by a great evening!
When you learn to laugh at yourself first, you can double your fun by laughing at yourself with your lover . There is loving fun poking and resentful fun poking and there are times when some sensitivity is called for. Only laugh at someone in loving fun. Being able to laugh at yourself and feel good while doing so is a sign of a healthy balanced person and it gives other people permission to join in. Never laugh at yourself because you are afraid others will do so. Only do so because you find it funny. If you can’t read the warning below.
Warning: If you or your man have a problem laughing at yourself, you may need to indulge in a little personal awareness and growth. It'll happen when you're ready. So chill out and after this next commercial break.we’re going to look at how to be come his treasured sauce of intimacy.
Choosing the right partner: The Freedom Factor
One of my top values is freedom. What it means to me is unique to me and might be very different from your interpretation of freedom For me that means being free to make decisions about my life and career. It means being free to be ME [and there are lots of sub categories of what being me means].
I used to think that I could only have that by living alone. Often we let economic constraints tunnel vision our thinking. As I considered this question, I realised that I could easily live with someone if I had enough space emotionally as well as physically. Sometimes we think we know what has to be in place to satisfy a need, and then we find out how flexible we are.
Freedom is a big word. It can mean many things to many people..here are a few examples I got when I asked people what freedom in a relationship meant to them.
separate holidays, some separate friends, working for themselves, being able to pursue interests even if they are time consuming, being able to indulge sexual relations out side the partnership, having someone accept them for who they are, following religious beliefs unhampered, having one night out on their own alone each week , living in a separate home, sleeping in separate bedrooms, having a private work areas, your own bathroom, being able to go out for a long walk alone and have no one ask you where you are going...
And I could go on forever, because for each person, freedom will be an emotionally charged word. If you don't understand ASK. What does that mean to you?.